When it comes to starting things, I’m like a match that’s just been struck – an explosion of heat, energy and purpose. I’ve sailed through life with this unending source of curiosity and excitement about all my new ventures (and adventures).
But just as every match surely fizzles out, my short attention span has me looking for the next shiny bauble every two or so years.
Whenever I found myself dreading my life or job, I simply started something new. It was seamless, like I had this super power where I always knew what I wanted next and could make it happen.
But lately something’s changed. When I discovered I was living an episode of The Office on repeat at my very comfortable day job, I also felt compelled to stay for my salary and leave balance. While perfectly normal feelings when you have mortgages and caring responsibilities, I can’t help but feel I’m making excuses and wonder if I’m just taking the safest route? It’s the first time I recall making decisions based on fear. I struggle knowing this, and more so that I’ve accepted it.
To survive the daily grind that my work has become and the cliche I’ve become with it, I need to re-frame my life choices – because at the end of the day, these are all my choices. As an educated, resourceful, confident woman, I need re-focus my attention.
I’m not talking about packing up and moving to Africa, or throwing it all in to start my own business (both of which I’ve done coincidently, but for reasons I’ll share another time are not the things I should be doing now). I mean something tangible to do as part of my life including the part that needs to show up to work each day.
Then BAM! It became clear – I will write.
So, in the spirit of accountability, I am sharing with you that from now on I will make the effort to make myself uncomfortable and face my fears by putting words on a page. I will enter competitions and join groups of like-minded souls. I will keep writing just for me in my morning pages and will share with whoever cares to read my blog (thank you!!). I will keep lighting matches and re-inventing myself through words.
There are always shiny baubles. Sometimes they just behind something a little dull.